Toddler painting her mother's pregnant bellyThis is my second pregnancy and I am twenty … two weeks pregnant? No wait, twenty-three. Yup, definitely twenty-three weeks pregnant … I think.

Hard to know really. And does it matter? Due dates mean nothing anyway. Am I right, ladies?

For a few reasons, I suspect this second baby is getting a raw deal.

For one, I’m am not obsessed with exactly how pregnant I am or what his/her progress is any any given moment. Kaz Cooke was read last time (the giggling really took the edge off first-time jitters), What To Expect … was tossed aside a few weeks after my daughter’s birth when I realised a book is very little comfort for a newborn.

This time around, I can’t be bothered the pay for the rest of the pregnancy app which demands $2.39 after the first 12 weeks.

I have been to one yoga session this pregnancy. One. And I’ve only eaten like four vegetables so far this week. I probably only got four into me during the entire first trimester.

Do we love our children equally? Well, we certainly don’t raise them equally …

From the initial uterine environment, I have not been able to replicate a single thing. I’m three years older, my abs are floppier and I’ve already bored you with my lifestyle changes.

READ: Sh!t I am not supposed to say now that I am a mother

However, my daughter may have been born to a health-oriented, vegetable-crunching yoga bunny but she was also born to a first-time mother with all the insecurities, anxieties and unhappiness of a steep, sleep-deprived learning curve.

I may be be a week or two out with New Bump’s expected arrival but I also know she’ll come on her terms, not mine, anyway!

She may not be hugged by abs of steel (or even strong rubber) but she’s heard her mother and sister sing every night since she was a bundle of cells. She may have consumed more caffeine in four months on the inside than the firstborn did in nine and a year of breastfeeding but at least she doesn’t have any (or many) unrealistic expectations about sleep placed on her.

Also, I suspect she’ll mostly be life-enriching rather than life-altering. Surely, that’s got to be a good thing for her. And she’s got a lot of cool clothes already.

So there are a few perks for the second-born …

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